small gummies

Chapter 84

conversation

Entering the hospital, I passed an uninhabited path, surrounded by whirling trees and rotting weeds. The stone slabs under my feet were broken and separated, and my walking was unstable. Sometimes it was soft and sometimes it hurt my feet.

"Is it near?" Qi Ye asked.

Under the cold light, two inpatient buildings were in sight.

Compared to taking this lifeless shortcut, Chi Xiansheng was more than happy to take the main entrance and spend more time and distance.

He lowered his head, murmured, and stared at Qi Ye's feet, following his steps, he took left leg, right leg, left leg and right leg...

At the same time, he grasped the rice cake rabbit pillow in his hand. Fortunately, he had two long ears, and he and Qi Ye grabbed one each to prevent getting lost, keeping them at an arm's length, as proof that they were not clingy.

Qi Ye took the rabbit's ears and led him into the hospital building to visit his unfamiliar mother.

Pushing open the heavy door leaf, and walking through the long ladder after step, his tall and straight figure, in the chaos of time, caught a glimpse of him by chance, and the dust of the years passed by, and he could not forget it.

Arrival floor.

Before turning into the ward area, there is a window, the glass is foggy, occupying half of the wall, with a wide field of vision, a chance glance, from top to bottom, you can see the lush trees in the park, a luminous kite, dragging a long tail, swaying slowly .

The corridor is also far away, quiet, and the lights are a little cold, reflecting the pale floor tiles.Chi Xiansheng lowered his head and followed Qi Ye, as if he could walk through a long life, but in the blink of an eye, when he hit his back, he was actually there.

It was very late, and there was still an hour and a half before the nurse's rounds.The door was ajar, there was no sound, the corridor was empty, and Chi Ge was nowhere to be seen.

Qi Ye turned around, pointed to a row of empty seats against the wall in front of the ward, and said softly: "I'll wait for you here, after we come out, let's go to the sweethoney cake room downstairs, her family has a fig cheesecake , more delicious than buns."

"I won't eat." Chi Xiansheng also quietly replied, with disgusted eyes, he grabbed the rabbit's ears and did not let go.

"There are also rabbit marshmallows, mayonnaise bread, soufflé muffins, coffee bean cookies, lemon meringue tarts, cheese pudding tarts..." Qi Ye raised his eyebrows, pulled him to sit down, and whispered names in his ear .

"Don't eat."

Chi Xiansheng stretched out his two slender arms, snatched the rice cake rabbit from Qi Ye's hand, pursed his mouth, and pulled the long hair on its tail.

"I'm going to beat you." Qi Ye threatened, then bent down and picked up the hair that fell on the ground.

"Here you are." With his right leg resting on Qi Ye's left leg, he frowned, "Hit it softly..."

Qi Ye lazily propped up his body, raised his hand, and squeezed his thigh, "I don't have any flesh, how can I beat him?"

"Then stop beating." Chi Xiansheng replied in a muffled voice, retracted his legs, let go of his fingers, and landed a tuft of hair.

"How can I have such a little ancestor like you?" Qi Ye laughed angrily, and put his left arm in front of him, "Bite it."

not in the mood.

Chi Xiansheng lowered his eyelids, brushed off the last two tufts of hair on his tail, and stuffed the rice cake rabbit back into Qi Ye's arms, "Don't be discovered by others, or it will be sad."

But if you give it for free, you can't take it away.He stared at the slender and strong arm in front of him, looking for the best entrance position.

"Knowing that you will be sad, but you are still bald—" Qi Ye paused in the middle of speaking.

Chi Xiansheng opened his mouth slightly, his upper body leaned forward, the distance was getting closer and closer, and when he was about to touch the brachioradialis muscle of Qi Ye's forearm, he turned his face, wrinkled the tip of his nose, raised his head and gave a mouthful, jumped off the chair, and pushed the door open Enter the ward.

The movement was too fast, the heartbeat was too fast, and his head was a little dizzy. He closed the door and touched his lips lightly with his fingers. It was dry and soft, unlike the feeling of bumping into it, tight and firm.

Obviously he didn't have that kind of arm yet, so he bit his lower lip and stopped kissing...never again!

Chi Xiansheng raised his head with a calm expression.

The mother lay quietly on the bed, holding a book in her hand, and a warm-colored lamp was turned on next to it, illuminating a small piece of scenery around her.

He walked away from the hazy darkness and stood quietly in front of the bed.

It's been a long time since the last time we met at the restaurant. There should have been a long story to say, but an entire night is not enough.

Even if they have nothing in common, they can still talk about the competition, but after thinking about it, he felt bad, afraid to ask Xiao Zhu, after all, there is a relationship between cousins.When it comes to emotional intimacy, it can't be reached.

are you OK?

To be honest, he had no feeling whether his mother was healthy or not.

This is really unfilial, he has the grace of childbirth, if it wasn't for his mother teaching piano since he was young, in today's competition, no matter what, he would not be able to enter the finals, how could he have a group of fans who follow him today.

But even if his mother passed away today, to Chi Xiansheng, it was just a matter of innocence, without any emotion involved, like a stranger, without sadness or joy.

"Sit down." After an unknown amount of time, my mother suddenly said.

After closing the book and taking off the thin silver-rimmed glasses, the mother slowly put it on the table and sipped her saliva, "Do you hate me?"

Chi Xiansheng sat on the chair farthest from the hospital bed. It was just a subconscious behavior. Afterwards, he would feel that something was wrong, that he was not close, and it always had a different meaning, giving people a feeling of indifference.But I didn't think about anything at the time, just like everything my mother had done for many years.

"I don't hate it." He replied calmly and clearly, also thinking in his heart.

It has nothing to do with the mother, she is such a person, it is not surprising that she would do such a thing, and there is no need for a reason.He admits that he is unfilial, indifferent, not in touch, not caring, not in touch, and he knows how bad all kinds of behaviors are.

Qi Ye said, just leave it alone.He instinctively seeks advantages and avoids disadvantages, escapes the way that may be hurt, chooses to make a clean break, does not disturb each other, and has nothing to do with each other from now on, which is also willing.

"You have grown up." The mother's eyelids slightly closed, "I also thought about treating you well, before Chi Ze left."

He has no memory of his father, and he has no photos, videos or related information, and he also learned his name from Chi Ge.Now when I think of my mother's postpartum period, alone, Chi Ge was in the period of a child, and dogs would dislike him when he saw her. Those times were by no means difficult to describe.

Can understand, hard to let go.

"Do you still remember that when you were young, you were very timid." The mother gently rubbed the silver bracelet on her wrist, "When you were learning to walk, your brother turned his back, pouted and walked away , No matter what you don’t care about, after a while, you won’t be able to find anyone, if you fall down, get up and keep going.”

Chi Xiansheng remained silent, it was the first time he heard someone talk about his childhood, those who had no memory, the very beginning of himself.

"And you." The mother swallowed a few sips of water and took it easy, "Whenever you encounter a pothole and a bad road, you don't go. You sit there with your legs crossed, and you have to be hugged. .Accidentally fell down, scratched the size of a fingernail, and tears fell when I blinked my eyes. I can cry for two hours. If someone mentions it, I can drop a bunch of golden beans. Grandma Fang next door is the worst Every time you cry, I will give you a bag of candies... At that time, it was really nice."

Picking up the cup, Chi Xiansheng got up to fetch the water, watched the small stream of water slowly overflowing the cup, and the water dispenser was gurgling, as if his heart was full of something, bulging, swollen and unable to vent.

Mother had some difficulties, so she said these words after several times of consideration.

And he was standing here at this time, not listening or not hearing,

In a way, the two minds are connected.He knew that it was very simple to be able to speak clearly, to tell each other their hearts, and maybe there would be a better ending after that, just like what he had imagined.

But he couldn't say it, and he couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was too fast. It seemed that hundreds of years had passed since he was abandoned by his mother in the performing arts hall, and the dust had already settled.

Or they are obsessed with obsession and cannot accept a few soft words to erase everything that happened.

He put the water glass back on her table. When he looked up, he saw the medical record posted on the bedside. He was stunned for a moment, his eyes blurred. He raised his hand to wipe it, and looked at the words on the medical record without taking his eyes off it.

It's not vertigo, it's not dreaming, the patient's name, Shen Chushi, is stroke by stroke...

[Brain Cancer Stage III]

"I heard from Chi Ge that you are playing games now and want to make it a career?" Mother asked calmly with a gentle voice.

Chi Xiansheng calmed down, nodded, his mind went blank, and his heart sank, how could it just happen to be brain cancer...

"Is this job good? I don't even know what's going on. When Chi Ge told me, I couldn't react." The mother smiled and looked at him with helplessness.

"it is good."

Opening his mouth, Chi Xiansheng made a sound, his language was not pale, and his vocabulary was not lacking.As long as he can remember, he just asks and answers. He also wants to change the conversation pattern he has cultivated for a long time. He also wants to boast and tell his mother that he is already a professional player. world champion.

It's not difficult to speak, he also wants to be more casual, complain about life, and talk about the grievances he has suffered.

Sitting on the chair, imitating Qi Ye with his hands in his pockets, he took a few deep breaths, wondering if his mother was satisfied with this attire.Maybe a little too casual, two rows of pockets on the side of the trousers, not serious, the hair has not been cut and is a little longer, but these are not important.

He relaxed his body with a natural expression, hid his fingers in his pockets, kept rubbing his fingertips, and licked his lips. The mop he met before returning to China was a good topic.

"Why didn't you knock on the door when you came in just now?" Mother asked.

Chi Xiansheng was silent, and at this moment, he clearly realized that what he hadn't said could never be said again.The blood flowing in the body suddenly became cold, thinking of the temperature of Qi Ye's coat, just separated by a wall, what was he doing.

"You have grown up, you are not a child, you must be polite, pay attention to your words and deeds, don't let no one care about you, just do whatever you want. Read more, study more, think more, and do things Can't be so casual..."

"Ah."

After that, he nodded in response to what his mother said, the more carefully he listened, the less true it became.

There was a knock on the door, and when the nurse came to make the rounds, the ward had been quiet for a while.The mother didn't move the water glass, she turned her face away and didn't want to talk, "You go."

He nodded, remained silent for a few seconds, raised his head, and said slowly, "Good night."

Passing by the nurse on duty, outside the ward, the two rows of seats against the wall were empty.

He lifted his heavy legs and walked out slowly. If a ghost suddenly popped out at this time, he would not be so scared.

Walking to the elevator entrance, a plain inquiry came from behind.

"Where?"

Qi Ye leaned against the window sill, pinched a cigarette, and walked towards him step by step with the rabbit ears in his left hand.

With his head down, Chi Xiansheng remained silent, and the surroundings were silent, as if there were only the two of them left in the world.

Qi Ye looked around, stuffed the rice cake rabbit ears into his palm, turned around suddenly, bent down, "Come up, today I will let you feel stepfather's compassionate heart."

Qi Ye, who carried him away from the hospital to eat cake, had a faint smell of tobacco on his neck.